Cultivating Gratitude
A Note on Navigating Disappointment
Goodbye February.
Hello March.
And cheers to another year!
Last month, I celebrated another trip around the sun. I’ve always viewed birthdays as a big deal, and my peeps know I can celebrate for days, sometimes weeks (no shame here!). This year, I planned a perfect getaway birthday weekend on a whim: Take a trip to NYC with my sister. Attend my first musical on Broadway. Spend time with my cousin and a friend. Check out one of my favorite indie artists in Manhattan. Visit the jazz museum in Harlem. And of course, indulge in a large, floppy slice of cheese pizza (because no one does pizza better than NY!).
As the calendar inched closer to my birthday, my plans slowly unraveled. The celebration I initially envisioned was not going to happen. My excitement waned. Disappointment settled. The invitation to a self-pity party dangled in my face along with nagging questions: Why couldn’t everything just come together like I wanted? Why can’t things just happen easily? How come the things you look forward to don’t work out?
Lies.
But when we join the self-pity party, it’s easier to entertain (and believe) those falsehoods. The more I dwelled on what didn’t work out, the more my frustration festered. Although the enemy wants us to stay in a sunken place of discontentment, I had the power to choose: I could keep entertaining untruths because of my feelings or shut down the pity party and keep it moving.
Eventually, I chose the latter. I was initially disappointed that my plans fell through, which is a normal reaction. But I had to make an intentional decision not to dwell in a place of disappointment, so I didn’t miss out on the good still happening. Sometimes, we just need to pivot. My sister set out to create a fun-filled birthday weekend locally, and I had a fab time celebrating with loved ones. My bday weekend teemed with joy, laughter, love, and good memories. I savored every moment.
The Blow of Disappointments
We have all faced disappointment at some point in life. And sometimes, the blow is much bigger than a change of birthday plans. Some of life’s disappointments truly alter our everyday normal. They shake us up. They leave us mystified, scratching our heads in disbelief while grappling with unexpected outcomes and unmet expectations.
Whatever the scenario, cultivating gratitude can help us deal with disappointment through a positive lens. Life has taught me that attitude and perspective play a huge role in how I respond to situations beyond my control. I don’t always get it right. But I notice my outlook is better when I am practicing gratitude, and there is always something to be thankful for, even when current circumstances are less than ideal. We witness and experience good gifts and blessings from God every day, but it can be easy to lose sight of the good when life happens and the fog thickens, clouding our perspective. Or when we’re wallowing in self-pity or facing disappointment.
In a moment of self-reflection, I noticed I’m quick to say, “God is sooo good!” when something is going right or working in my favor. But why wasn’t I bringing that same energy during setbacks or letdowns? God’s goodness is not circumstantial. He is still good when life is hard. Whitney Capps’ recent testimony on Instagram summed it up perfectly: “God’s goodness should not be measured by His doing. His goodness is His being.” Amen and Amen.
Remembering The One
Psalm 116:7: “Return to your rest, my soul, for the Lord has been good to you.”
The psalmist commands his soul to return to ease by remembering the One who is faithful. The One who is and has always been good. The One who never leaves.
We can do the same.
In this life, we’ll face disappointments and trouble. It’s important to acknowledge our feelings and bring them to God when we’re struggling. He understands. It’s also okay to acknowledge the facts of the situation.
Yes, this (insert thing here) happened.
Yes, this season may be hard.
Yes, your feelings and frustrations are valid.
Yes, you are weary and tired of being disappointed.
But you do not have to settle there.
The truth is: You can move forward. You can pivot. You can try again.
You’re still breathing. Your heart is still beating.
You are seen. You are heard.
God is with you through every disappointment.
Your soul can find rest in the Maker.
Hope abounds.
Journal Prompt:
Several years ago, I started a “blessings” jar to help me cultivate gratitude during a challenging season in my life. Learn more about the jar and creating your own in this quick video (click on the link or image below): Gratitude Jar
Writing Prompt: Identify and write down three blessings you experienced this week.
The Bookshelf
I won’t lie…I was a little judgy about audiobooks (okay, a lot judgy!). I gave my sister the side eye whenever she announced she finished our selected reads on Audible…(like, girl that is not the same as reading!). While walking at the park, I decided to give nonfiction audiobooks another go after several failed attempts.
I finished my first one last month. Preston Perry’s How to Tell the Truth is an amazing read and provided practical tips on sharing your faith to win hearts; not arguments. His writing style and the narrator kept my attention the entire time (kudos because my mind drifts with audiobooks). I also started listening to The Spirit of Justice: True Stories of Faith, Race, and Resistance during Black History Month, and I look forward to continuing.
In addition, I wrapped up Stormie Omartian’s The Power of Praying Through Fear (a powerful read), and I started a historical fiction book by Angela Jackson-Brown, The Light Always Breaks. Historical fiction is a new genre for me, and I am really enjoying this book so far.
My Cultivating Joy List
Wrapping up February with a Black History Month party for my nieces and nephew
Reading more/less tv binging (made an exception for the show Paradise…it’s too good not to binge!)
Homemade tea lattes (almost mastered the London Fog)
Jazz on vinyl (Dave Brubeck’s “Take Five” and Herbie Hancock’s “Takin Off” albums in heavy rotation lately)
What is feeding your soul and bringing you joy these days?
Thanks for reading The Brew!
Have a great weekend.
